There Is Power In Positivity

I've been feeling pretty down these days, hence why I haven't been posting much. I just haven't had the desire or energy to do it. But that has got to change! I would really like to try and turn my current negative life outlook into a positive one instead. The questions in my last post...

Exploring My Body Image

My ED has been fairly manageable as of late. I've abstained from purging and for the most part bingeing/overeating. None the less though my ED voice is still coming through loud and clear, but so is my HS. Last night I indulged in some mini cupcakes, I had 8 total throughout the day and 6...

Curious And Curiouser

I'm losing my mind. I am in such distress today about my body, I feel fat, pathetic, and disgusting. I am freshly home from holiday's and I am absolutely DISGUSTED by my body. I am curious why it is that on vacation I really didn't stress out to bad about my body and ED. Things...

Eventually

There is never a moment of silence or peace inside your mind when you have an eating disorder. Even when you are surrounded by beautiful lush greenery, stunning beaches, the warm sunshine, and some serious eye candy. No matter my external situation and surroundings, my internal situation remains the same. My two sides are forever...

Holiday Craze

I have taken some well deserved time off to go back home for a few days and then jet off to an island getaway. I'm 2 days in out of 14, and I have done the inevitable...overeaten. It has me feeling quite stressed and anxious which does not come as surprise. My HS is coming...

Slow And Steady

Things have been bearable lately when it comes to my eating disorder. I haven't binged or purged in a couple of weeks now, but I have most definitely been having a lot of ED thoughts and internal battles within myself. I am yet to hear anything about getting in with a different therapist and I'm...

Creating A Dialog

Today I am having some serious ED thoughts so I decided to use this opportunity to create some more conversation between my healthy self and my ED self.EDS (eating disorder self): Omg you fat fucking disgusting roll of flab. Your back fat is so out of control, it hangs off of you in not one...

A Tale of Two Selves

I'm progressing along in the 8 keys and my next writing assignment is to pick a time where I am having ED thoughts, write them down, and then create a dialog between my two selves. I am currently experiencing ED thoughts (what else is new lol) so here goes nothing:EDS (eating disorder self) - So......

We All Make Mistakes

Sooo, I fucked up. I weighed myself at the gym after being on keto for around a week. BIG MISTAKE. I have not lost one single pound, not even a fraction of a pound. That sentence right there tells me I am doing this for the wrong reasons. I'm not doing it to lead a...

Relief

Things have been good the last few days ED wise. On the keto diet I find I'm feeling satisfied with food, no snacking out of boredom, and I am actually stopping when I am full. I'm not really having any cravings, nor have I binged or purged since beginning keto. My negative ED thoughts have...